Hurricane Sandy = HUGE SAVINGS to online shoppers

Twenty-four hours after the Atlantic Ocean flooded beach towns up and down the coast of New Jersey, those of us with electricity and a dry checkbook have reason to rejoice: Gary Barbera is extending their Cadillac Madness sale thanks to the hurricane!

Yes, you heard that right. While watching tonight's 11 o'clock Action News, which focused almost exclusively on the devastation of the unprecedented damage caused by Hurricane Sandy, Philadelphia-based car salesman/slickster Gary Barbera thought it would be a great opportunity to let the greater Delaware Valley know that their Cadillac sale is being extended. And doing it with cheesy stock footage of windswept trees in a driving rain to accompany the sales pitch.

Horrified, I took to facebook, only to see that a friend of mine had posted a similar story about another car dealership in the area (this one in New Jersey) that promised $1000 off the cost of a certain type of car for every inch of rain that Hurricane Sandy brought to the region.

Tacky and insensitive doesn't even begin to describe this type of marketing.

I tried in vain to find the Barbera commercial online, so I could include it here, but it has proven surprisingly elusive. However, a quick Google search of the terms "Hurricane Sandy sale" revealed that car dealerships aren't the only ones promoting Hurricane Sandy as a reason to shop. Retailers like American Apparel, Urban Outfitters, and The Gap are all (or at least were, until the press and bloggers got wind of it) offering great deals for people who are in the mood to expand their wardrobe while their neighbors across town sit bundled in darkness, in a shelter, wearing the same sweatshirt and jeans they've had on since they abandoned their houses two days ago.

American Outfitters promises free shipping during Hurricane Sandy.
Now, you just have to hope the mailman can find your house after the storm.

I realize that our country is one enormous capitalist machine, but at what point do we draw the line? Since when is devastation a cause for people to rejoice that they can open their wallets and buy another pair of skinny jeans, boots, or push-up bras? How is it ever acceptable for a company to think that using the term "SandySale" is an appropriate discount code for online shoppers? These are the questions I will be posting to each of these company's facebook pages this evening.

All I know is that Christmas shopping season starts really soon, and you can bet that none of the companies offering any kind of Sandy Sale will be getting any of my money this holiday season.

WHAT IS "ACADEMIC REALIGNMENT" AND WHY IS IT WRONG FOR UPPER DARBY

If you've been watching the news during the past few weeks, you may have noticed that the Upper Darby School District (home to yours truly) has an enormous education crisis on its hands. Due to state budget cuts, the Upper Darby School Board has proposed that starting with the 2012-2013 school year, all ARTS, MUSIC, LIBRARY, and GYM classes will be removed from the elementary schools. In the middle schools, FOREIGN LANGUAGE and TECHNOLOGY classes will also be eliminated. Sixty teachers will lose their jobs, and those who remain have the daunting task of integrating all of these "cut" classes into the existing curriculum.

This "academic realignment proposal" (the school board's term, not mine) has parents, teachers, students, and taxpayers shaking their heads. On my block, the average school tax taps out at around $8000/year. How is that not enough to keep at least some of these six classes in the curriculum? The school board claims that this proposal will help Upper Darby students "succeed as citizens in the new global economy." But no one on the school board can adequately explain how graduates of Upper Darby schools will be able to compete in the global economy if they lack foundations in foreign languages and technology, the two cornerstones of the global economy.

On Tuesday, May 8th, the school board held a meeting to discuss their proposal. The Performing Arts Center at the Upper Darby High School (not too ironic, right?) was packed with parents, children, teachers, and taxpayers eager to address the board. When the floor was opened for public comment at 8:45pm, at least 70 speakers got up and waited patiently to give their time-allotted three-minute speeches extolling the virtues of the arts and offering alternative solutions to these painful cuts. Although some school board members listened, others found it perfectly acceptable to read and reply to text messages and excuse themselves to answer what I can only assume were phone calls from people who DON'T pay their salaries. One man, who I understand will be transferring into the Radnor school district next year (you've been warned, Main Liners), sat as far back in his chair as the springs would allow, with his head resting on one of his hands, with a body language that could only be described as disinterested and disgusted.

The meeting stretched until 2am, at which point the proposed curriculum was tentatively passed by the board, with a 5-3 vote. They followed that up with an even gutsier 7-1 vote to approve a 3% tax increase. The board voted hastily and couldn't even be bothered to politely excuse themselves and pretend to deliberate for a few moments behind closed doors. Their vote clearly conveyed that the majority of the board has no interest in exploring any alternatives to this proposal.

But I, like many of the parents, children, teachers, and taxpayers in Upper Darby, refuse to consider this a done deal. The final vote to approve the budget is due in June, which means that there are still a few weeks left for people to raise their voices and demand that the school board and our elected officials FIND ANOTHER WAY.

Are you ready to help? If so, my neighbors in Upper Darby (and myself, of course) would be grateful if you could do the following:

(1) Log on to http://www.saveudarts.org/;

(2) Click "Sign the Petition", read and sign the petition that requests funding for these programs be restored; and

(3) Send the link to family or friends who are 18 years or age or older, support the arts, and live in Pennsylvania. Anyone in Pennsylvania (even if they don't live in Upper Darby or don't have kids in public school) can sign this petition.

The Upper Darby school district is the ninth largest school district in Pennsylvania, with a creative and performing arts program that has a long-standing tradition of nationwide excellence. If the state doesn't think twice about coming after a school district as large and diverse as Upper Darby, it is only a matter of time before smaller districts with less established arts programs will be sacrificed as well.

Kids in the district are making signs of support, starting lemonade stands, and sending their allowance to teachers and principals. Adults are writing letters, making calls, and preparing to march on Harrisburg to tell Governor " Tom "slash and burn" Corbett that his cuts are destroying the creative integrity of a generation of children.

Please join with your neighbors who are fighting valiantly to educate the next generation of leaders, performers, and visionaries.

I welcome your support at http://www.saveudarts.org/.

Welcome to 40 - Just Sharing the Wisdom

It's been 20 days since my 30s came to an end, and I'm doing surprisingly well. While there have been ups and downs, overall it's not too bad (aside from the stray grey hairs that are popping up in my dark brown eyebrow arch above my left eye, making it look like I've had some sort of tweezing accident). But hey, I'll take stray grey eyebrows over grey head hair any day, so I'll just shut up.

Here's the top 10 things I've learned since turning 40:

1) Celebrations for milestone birthdays (like 40, 50, 60, etc) that result in gifts like candles from CVS purchased minutes before gift-giving do NOT go over well. I mean, even though Molly Ringwald got no gifts in "16 Candles," she ended up with Jake Ryan and that awesome dining room table kiss.

2) Kind friends and family (and contrite spouses) will make enormous efforts to amend disappointing birthday celebrations, particularly if you have a spectacular meltdown in your bedroom.

3) Although it may be necessary to stand on your concert seat to get a better view of the stage, it's not worth getting into a fight with a posse of younger, skinnier bitches in the row behind you at a Kelly Clarkson concert, even if your husband has your back. I'm just sayin'.

4) Sometimes, jumping in the car and going to Reading, PA on a whim, to watch "professional" wrestling can be a great way to spend a Saturday night.

5) The office douchebag who tries to rationalize why he can't perform basic office maintenance tasks (ie, "you should be responsible for changing the toner in the copier, Maria, since your stuff was the last stuff that printed") should be ignored. That is, until you openly mock his arrogance to female coworkers behind his back.

6) Too much AXE cologne really, no REALLY, hurts the nasal passages and basically torpedoes your chance of hooking up (do people still call it "hooking up?") with others.

7) People who say "anyhoo" or (even worse, use it as part of a facebook status) should be immediately defriended without explanation.

8) Husbands who offer to make their kids' lunches are viewed as exponentially more sexy to tired working moms than those men who couch on the sofa watching repeats of "Storage Wars."

9) You're never to old to snuggle with your kids, although they will definitely be too old one day to want to snuggle with you.

10) Trying to beat the computer in two consecutive games of Scrabble is in an exercise in futility, especially at 2 in the morning. Also, note to some, when playing on the Kindle, the computer takes the name AI (as in artificial intelligence), not Al (as in short for Alfred). It took me about three weeks of playing before I realized that.

More wisdom later...